Dorothy Harris

On a roll at all times

I used to think it strange at first, but now I have become accustomed to it happening. I guess I'm accepting of the situation, so much so, it really doesn't even irk me anymore. It happens and instead of feeling a sense of aggravation, I simply shrug and handle it. Have I grown soft? Am I letting others take advantage of my good will? After all, I cannot be the only person out there who knows how to do this.

Maybe I've just grown enough emotionally that I am willing to handle this while others are still early on their own path to enlightenment. I really have no idea, I just know it happens over and over again and I am okay with it. If I find myself allowing a bubble of annoyance to surface, I simply pop it and smile while grabbing another roll. After all, it's just toilet paper, right?

For whatever reason, perhaps if only to keep me humble in life, wherever I go, and believe me, I mean wherever, I'm always the one to change the toilet paper. I don't understand this phenomenon, but I've come to expect it. At first I assumed it was just a coincidence, but now, I know it's part of my role in this big world (pardon the pun.)

At work, home, the store, visiting a college with my daughter or even in an expensive hotel, the roll is always empty or nearly used up upon my arrival. Why this is so, I have no idea. Maybe it's because of my decades of training as a former park ranger. After all, rangers are tasked with this duty and most accept it with nary a complaint. When it comes to public restrooms, changing the paper is the easy part. If you don't believe me, go ask a ranger for their restroom horror stories, but don't do it before lunch. Trust me on this.

Anyhow, in my life now, I'm still changing the paper and I can hear a handful of you laughing about this. Yep, some things never change. Like I mentioned previously, I don't really mind, but I do find it ironic. Like when we went to the upscale hotel in Boca recently.

Everything was perfect and I was so thankful to find a good deal, otherwise we never would have been able to afford to stay there. Nice digs, super clean, great location and cue the drum roll, about 2 squares left on the roller. How ironic is an empty roll of toilet paper in a hotel bathroom that has just been cleaned for the next occupant? It was like an inside joke I don't know about.

I was thankful for those two squares and the full roll left in easy reach, but couldn't help but shake my weary, just-drove-five-lanes-of-crazy-traffic-on-I95 head in exhausted acceptance. "Again, I change the roll," I muttered to myself, thinking for a Benjamin and a half a night, surely someone might have done this for me. "Eh, what does it really matter," I concluded and was done with that.

Anymore, I expect and look for the extra roll as soon as I enter a stall. Since I know I'm going to be changing the toilet paper or the paper towel roll before I exit, I might as well be prepared. If you see me around town, keep this in mind. If I'm exiting, you know there will be paper waiting, already loaded for your convenience. After all, this still seems to be my role for whatever reason, so I'll be prepared to fill it.